Mediocrity, Breastfeeding, and Why I'm a Mean Girl

Big and Beautiful?  Or, Unhealthy and Miserable?

Sucking at life is not fun.  Being fat and unhealthy is not fun.  Ignorance?  That's not fun either.  So, I ask you, why does everyone suck so much?  And why, oh why, is everyone so damned okay with it?

The self esteem movement, this idea that we should love ourselves despite our flaws, has morphed; it has grown and changed before our very eyes into something perverse (not to mention frightening).  Now, it is perfectly acceptable, preferred even, to love oneself because of ones flaws.  Failing grade?  That's okay, as long as you tried!  Fat?  NO! I'm not fat, I'm curvy and proud of it!  Their, there, or they're?  Does it really matter?  

Mediocrity for everyone! Yay!

Now, I'm in no way suggesting that everyone should be perfect all the time.  I am, however, suggesting that you'd damn well better try to be perfect.  Flaws are shortcomings or imperfections.  They make us uncomfortable.  Discomfort breeds action.  Take away the discomfort, take away the stigma, and suddenly everyone sucks and they're all okay with it.  Better yet, some people even celebrate it.

Am I the only one who has a problem with this?

True confidence, the kind not easily shaken, can only be achieved by accomplishing meaningful goals.  Learning to love your fat rolls is not an accomplishment; PR-ing your deadlift is.  Accepting limitations in your knowledge is not an accomplishment; learning new facts or skills is.  From my experience, the more difficult the task, the more worthwhile it is.

So, what does any of this have to do with breastfeeding?  There is this idea floating around that it's perfectly okay to choose formula if that's what's “right for your family”.  Huh?  When is choosing a mediocre substitute that will have a negative effect on your child for life ever okay?  This is not akin to choosing a generic product over a brand name one.  Breastmilk and formula are two totally different things.  Choosing formula over breastmilk is like choosing gummy-green over leafy-green; different ballparks completely.  

Now, let me stop here and say that I am talking about women who choose to formula feed.  I understand that for a select few women, it is not a choice.  Obviously, if you or your child cannot breastfeed, you cannot breastfeed.  Kind of a no-brainer right?  That being said, if you switch to formula because you find breastfeeding “too hard”, that is a choice you are making.  I feel badly for your children.

Too many people have this notion that their experiences are somehow completely and utterly unique to them.  If you say, “It was just too hard for me,” for some reason, no one questions it.  Ever.  And so it becomes the catch-all excuse.  Well, I don't buy it, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm a mean girl.  I judge people.  I do it all the time.  Something I hear constantly from other people is “I could never (fill in the blank with something that I am currently doing/trying).”  So, what then?  I'm superhuman?  I don't think so.  I think that most people “could never...” because they choose not to.

So, next time you hear about someone doing something amazing that you yourself won't ever do, be honest.  Say something like, “while that sounds really amazing, I'm not willing to put in the effort," or "I'm too afraid to try that."  And if you feel stupid for saying it, perhaps some re-evaluation is warranted.  Remember, all of the people out there doing amazing things are just people.  You could do what they're doing if you really wanted to.  Or, you could continue being okay with your mediocrity.  Your choice.